Recently I’ve had several conversations with people who have been so angry with God for their current circumstances and they didn’t know what to do with it. One friend said she just let God have it and then went a few weeks without talking to God. One friend said she cried and cried and said nasty things to God, and then woke up the next morning feeling bad about it. I have a friend going through a really dark trial right now and she has shared that sometimes she doesn’t know who to talk to because her thoughts aren’t “christian” or “godly.”
On one hand, I can see why we are hesitant to let it all out before God. God deserves reverence and respect. He is the Almighty Creator of all things and I can see why we feel timid when it comes to letting our anger out at God. I agree with giving God respect and honor and being careful with our words. But I have a few thoughts about this I’d like to share.
One, even if you don’t speak your thoughts out loud, God knows your thoughts. Psalm 139 says that God knows our thoughts from afar. Before we even had them, God saw them. He knew they were coming, he’s prepared for them. In another Psalm we read that God’s understanding has no limit. He knows all things, our thoughts are included in all. (Psalm 139:2, 147:5) A theological term for that is omniscient. God is omniscient because He knows all things. There are a lot of bible passages that would explain this theology: 1 John 3:20, Isaiah 46:9-10, Isaiah 55:8-9, Matthew 10:29-30, and many others. My thought with this whole point, is that speaking your thoughts out loud does not give God any more information than He already has. He knows the hard, dark, angry things you are thinking, saying them out loud doesn’t change that.
Two, God wants us to be honest and vulnerable with Him. Even though God knows our thoughts, He still wants us to tell them to Him. Psalm 62 tells us to trust in God at all times and pour out your heart to him because God is our refuge. David was brutally honest in some of the Psalms. He was an expert at pouring his heart out to God. The Bible is full of examples of people letting it all out with God. In 1 Samuel, Hannah was praying to God and being unguardedly honest. So much so, that the priest who saw her thought she was drunk! She was being so raw and real with God. She wasn’t holding anything back, she was grieving and lamenting to the deepest part of her soul. Peter tells us to cast our cares on God because He cares for us. God wants to be involved in every single detail of our lives, the good and bad and ugly. All of it.
So what do we do with this? Now we know that God wants us to let it all out. He wants us to be honest with Him and He wants to carry our pain with us. But what do we do with this information? I think we can find an answer in Psalm 13.
Psalm 13 is written by David, and it’s clear he’s writing from a place of desperation. The first two verses are expressions of utter exhaustion and being at the point of giving up. David doesn’t have a lot of endurance left, if any at all. He accuses God of intentionally leaving him alone and abandoning him. He’s asking how long will God let this go on. Day after day he’s suffering and being attacked. He then moves into asking God for help. He asks God to give him light and answers. He says if something doesn’t change soon he’s going to lose everything. He’s going to lose hope. Then, the shift. It’s pretty dramatic! From that point of deep pain and desperation David makes a statement, declaring truth over his situation. “But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.” After acknowledging his pain he refutes those lies with truth. He’s telling God that he feels abandoned, but he knows God’s love is unfailing. He feels depressed and attacked, but his heart rejoices because God has given him salvation. Then, he declares he will sing the Lord’s praises, God has been good to David and he’s going to speak that truth over himself. He ends with that beautiful declaration of trust and hope.
Psalm 13 can be a guide for us when we’re at the end of our rope. Like David, we can let God have it. All the feelings and hurt and pain and angst. God can handle it, He wants us to be honest with him. Then, like David, we can move to asking for help. Beg God to change your circumstance or give you victory over sin. Ask God for light in your life, or whatever you need from Him right now. Finally, like David, end on praise. Literally speak these words of David. “I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.” Spend a few minutes praising God for His unfailing love. Think back on times when God has proven His love to you. Storms He has brought you through, miracles you’ve witnessed, precious friendships that God has brought to you at just the right time. God has given us salvation through Jesus. He loved us so much He sent his Son to come to rescue us from sin. Jesus willingly and obediently followed God’s will and plan. He allowed himself to be killed, and was buried and then rose back to life. Giving us the free gift of salvation. Salvation isn’t something we can earn, or be disqualified from. When we cross that line of faith and put our trust in Jesus, we become a permanent member of God’s family. Nothing can separate us from the love of God. Salvation isn’t only for those who have never accepted this gift from God. Salvation is a one time act of God to declare us a child of His, but it’s a moment we remember and focus on every single day for the rest of our lives. David ends with praise. He chooses to sing the Lord’s praises, reminding his heart of all the good things God has given him. When you pause and let yourself think of all the good things God has given you, the list can get long. Start way out and praise God for air and water and trees and sunshine and clouds and snow and flowers. Then move a little closer and praise God for family and friends and healthy, God honoring churches. Move a little closer still and praise God for choosing you to be in His family and giving your access to Him through Jesus. Oh the goodness of God to us is unmeasurable.
My hope with all this is to give you freedom to say what you want to God. I pray that you feel free to let the pain and hurt in your heart spill out into the presence of God. He wants to hear from you and is waiting for you. But don’t stay there, enter into the presence of God and stay until you can praise Him. Keep moving forward and being honest with God and asking Him to work. And then move to trust and hope and light.
I encourage you to read this psalm as a prayer. Read a phrase and then insert your own words. My pastor recently taught our church how to pray scripture and I’d like to pass along that teaching. Let me give you an example of how you can do this with Psalm 13.
How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever? God why have you left me alone? Why did you let this happen to me and let everyone turn on me. Why did you let people I thought were friends believe lies about me and attack me so viciously?
How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart? It’s been months God. You have left me dealing with all this hate and betrayal for months. I keep thinking that You’re going to move and change hearts and give me relief and you haven’t. I keep thinking one more day and you’ll come in and save me. But you don’t. I’m losing hope. Well, it has been gone for a while now. There’s nothing for me to hold onto now. What do I do now?
How long will my enemy triumph over me? Why do they always win? Why do some people get to do whatever they want and I’m left dealing with the mess. Why do they get to be immature and sin against me and I’m the one who suffers? My life is left in tatters and they seem to just move on, as if nothing happened.
Look on me and answer, Lord my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death, and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,” and my foes will rejoice when I fall. Oh I know all about this! Those people, the enemies, got what they wanted. They got me out. They kicked me until I fell hard and then dumped more on top of it. Give light to my eyes, give me a path to see. Guide me because I don’t know how to get out of this mess. I don’t know how much longer I can hold on. I’ve been saying that for months now, I don’t even know how I’ve made it this long.
But I trust in your unfailing love. But I trust. I can choose to trust you God. You have been faithful before, I know you will be again. I have made it this far, I have been leaning completely on your love to get me through and look how far you’ve brought me! You love reaches to the ends of the earth and carries me through every moment of every day.
My heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing the Lord’s praises, for his has been good to me. You have been good to me. More than just the basic stuff. You have given me a safe home to live in. You have given me financial stability and I don’t worry about putting food on my table. You have given me a community that loves me and prays for me. I’ve had so many friends from college or previous places we’ve lived reach out and see how I’m doing. You have given me verse after verse, and song after song that speaks to my heart right at the moment I’m needing it. You have given me an online community that speaks to this kind of hurt and I’ve learned so much from other women going through what I’m going through. You have indeed been good to me. Please remind me over and over of your goodness.
Abigail Denton 
One response to “Being Honest with God”
[…] 3 ways to handle disappointment with God.1. Be honest with God. Sometimes we don’t like saying the truth of how we’re feeling out loud and forget that God already knows. God knows what’s in our hearts so when we hold back from being honest with God, we’re not hiding anything from Him. God wants us to be intimate and close with Him and that can’t happen if we’re holding back. Two years ago I wrote a blog post about it and if you’re interest you could read more here. […]
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