Abigail Denton

Identity: Who you are, not what you do

Hello friends! Today on the Refresh Podcast we are going to be talking about identity. We’re going to take a huge broad topic and we’re going to zoom in on one aspect. We’re going to talk about how our identity is who we are and not what we do, what role we play, what season we’re in, and more. We’re going to look at a passage in 1 Kings to illustrate some biblical truths about our identity in Christ and, as always, we’ll close with some coaching. Let’s go!

Welcome back to episode 3. This has been such a fun project for me to launch this podcast, so thanks for listening! Today we’re talking about identity and today I’m not going to try and unpack a lot in this episode, I just want to zoom in on one part and unpack that a little.

Let’s start with our main phrase, the phrase that this whole episode is centered around. Your identity is who you are. Your identity is not:

Those are all real things. The scars and wounds from your past are real. What you do is a huge part of your life. What role you play and the season you’re in is a huge real part of your life. But none of these things are your actual identity, they don’t define who you are, they define what you do and what it looks like. They define where you’ve come from and what you’ve overcome. But these things do not define who you are.

We could spend a lot of time looking at scripture passages that define what our identity in Christ is. Passages that teach us that:

I would encourage you to look up these verses that speak about who you are in Christ. Psalm 139, Ephesians 1 and 2, and Romans 8 might be good places to start. But for now, we’re going to pivot and look at a story from the Old Testament to illustrate this truth about our identity.

Let’s go to 1 Kings 19 and let me start with a little context. In chapter 18 we have the recording of Elijah on Mount Carmel. Side note, I’ve actually been to this spot in Israel and it’s beautiful and amazing. It was so fun to study this passage in the actual location that it occurred in. Anyways Elijah fought with 450 prophets of Baal and God proved that He was real and Baal was not. It was this huge win in his ministry. God won and the false prophets and Baal lost. The people loved it and turned towards God, they obeyed Elijah and killed all the prophets. Then the leader Jezebel announced she was going to find Elijah and kill him so Elijah ran. He fled into the wilderness. These few verses are quite a swing emotionally. He was literally on the top of the mountain fighting for God and winning! Then he’s running for his life and is so discouraged that He tells God to just take him, he’s ready to die.

Let’s pause here and unpack this a little. I some thoughts and correlations between this first part of the story and my own life, I’m curious if maybe you can relate to any of these things.
Elijah went from a huge ministry win to a discouraging valley. I have found that sometimes big wins in my own life and ministry are followed by a hard time. For example, last year we hosted a women’s event at our church and it was amazing and so so good and encouraging. I felt my soul was lifted and light and just so blessed. That was Saturday. On Sunday, I got cornered in our church lobby and someone was very disgusted with me: my treatment of them, my lack of attention to them, how I reminded them of people in their past that had hurt them and they didn’t like that. It was awful and honestly felt like such a let down after such a beautiful day of ministry on Saturday. I can empathize with Elijah’s experience in this way.
Elijah was scared and discouraged so he ran. He isolated himself in the wilderness and gave himself up to his emotions and thoughts. I have found that when I’m discouraged I tend to do the same thing. I remove myself from my community because it feels scary and vulnerable. I let myself sulk in my own thoughts and for me they tend to spiral. I feel upset and that leads me to feeling alone and believing all kinds of lies that get bigger and scarier and heavy as they spiral.
In verse 4 Elijah tells God that he’s had enough. He’s done. He quit. How many times have I had this exact thought? I’ve even said it outloud, I’ve even said it to my kids and my husband. I quit, I’m done. I can’t do this anymore. I’ve reached the end and I have nothing left to give.

What does this have to do with my identity you might ask? It’s easy to stake our identity in what we do, how it’s going, what season of ministry or family life I’m in, or my reputation. Elijah illustrates all of these things in this passage, and we’re going to keep working through the passage to see where it goes.

Before we jump back into 1 Kings let’s hear from our sponsors of today’s episode. Surprise! It’s me, I’m today’s sponsor. I’m sponsoring this episode haha. If you liked this episode and want more, there’s good news! There are more episodes that aren’t publicly available. I run a membership program called ReFresh and part of that membership is a private podcast. Each month we have a specific topic for that month’s material. There are three main parts to the membership and the podcast is one of them. With a private podcast we can say all the things: the real, the raw, the authentic, and even the vulnerable.

We speak life into the hard parts, we replace lies and discouragement with truth and hope, and we remember why we do what we do: we serve Jesus and we participate in what God is doing all around us, His kingdom work we get to be a part of. This membership is for you to be able to be served and cared for, to be encouraged and equipped, and to remind your heart that you are loved and called and your role is good and holy whatever it looks like.

find out more: www.abigaildenton.com/shop/refresh

Back in 1 Kings, we read that Elijah then…took a nap. Then he ate a snack and took another nap. Then he ate another snack. In Jesus name let’s take more naps and eat more snacks! Amen and Amen. To be honest though, this is interesting to me because God guides Elijah to take care of his physical body. Get some sleep and nourish your body with food and water. Such basic steps that make such a huge difference in our lives. I’m sure we can all relate to an experience where we just cannot any longer. This past January my son woke up with stomach pain that wasn’t nausea and by God’s grace we knew right away it was his appendix. It was a long process to make sure though and we were in 2 different hospitals doing testing and waiting from 8:00 am Thursday to finally having surgery at 3:00 am Friday morning. Everything went smoothly and he recovered amazingly and we got discharged around 12:00 on Friday. We finally got home about 2pm that Friday and when we got home we all just wanted to sleep. We told the girls they could eat whatever they wanted and watch whatever they wanted on TV but DO NOT WAKE ANYONE UP and Isaac, James, and I all went to take a nap. My mental health before that nap and after that nap was just night and day different. I was so sad and discouraged and confused about his medication and worried about pain management before sleeping. Then when I woke up I felt like a whole new person, ready to get back to the work of caring for my family. Interestingly enough I remembered that I had people who I could ask for help. We had neighbors and friends from church drop off food and special treats for the kids. My friend who’s a doctor helped me figure out pain management and medicines. Isaac had co-workers checking in on him and our family and taking work off his plate for him. Being tired and hungry, not taking care of my physical body, makes it so much harder to remember my community and lean in. It makes it harder to remember the truth and see the light there in the darkness. Now, I know there are a lot of experiences that fall outside of this story and illustration. This isn’t a blanket statement and I’m not saying a nap and a snack will fix everyone’s problems all the time. I am saying that sometimes the wisest thing a person can do is to take care of their physical body first: take a nap and eat a snack.

Heading back to 1 Kings one more time, after all this snacking and napping God sent Elijah on a 40 day journey to Mount Horeb, also known as Mount Sinai, which is also known as the mountain of God. God graciously gave Elijah 40 days to rest and recover emotionally. I can imagine all that time Elijah was praying and thinking and processing and spending all that alone time with God and his thoughts and feelings.

Once Elijah got to the mountain God wanted to show Elijah his presence. God wasn’t in the big and powerful mighty experiences of the wind, the earthquake, or the fire. God was in the still small voice. God was so intimately close, God was in the gentle whisper. God asked him to share. God gave him the opportunity to vent and get his feelings off his chest. God asked him what he was doing there and Elijah let it all out. I can picture this scene for myself as if God comes in close and so gently and so tenderly lets me cry and say the things and complain about how unfair the situation is.

Then God says go back. Go back Elijah because there is work to do. There is kingdom work that I have prepared for you to do and I’m sending you back there to do it. There’s a team, a community waiting for you to lead them. And there are thousands more who have persevered in this hostile culture to this point and are ready for what’s next. Go back Elijah, and lead them.

There are so many takeaways from this passage and I feel like I want to get into each one and really unpack it and dig in and see what God might be showing us today, but let’s stay on topic and focus on what this story says about our identity.

God is so gracious and allows us to be human.God wasn’t angry at Elijah for running. He wasn’t angry at Elijah for losing faith and being discouraged. God was gracious and kind and gentle. God invited Elijah to be honest and say his feelings outloud to him. Our feelings are not our identity any more than Elijah’s discouragement and loneliness was his. That was not how God saw Elijah and that is not how God sees us. Elijah’s experiences were not his identity, both the good and the bad. Elijah had defined who he was based on the success of his ministry and then almost quit all together when it wasn’t the firm foundation he thought it was going to be. Well, he tried but God wouldn’t let him.

My hope and prayer for this podcast episode is for you to see that who you are, your true and deep identity:

Your identity is who you are, you are a child of the Father that has been bought by the blood of the Son, and has been covered by the Spirit. My prayer for you today is that you find the peace of the Father, fall more in love with the Son, and feel the presence of the Spirit.

Take a nap, eat a snack, meet with God; and then go back sweet friend. There is work to do.

Let’s close with a little coaching. I have one coaching prompt for you to process and meditate on as you go from here.

What is God gently and tenderly whispering to you? Is he telling you to take care of your body? Is he telling you to be honest with him? Is he telling you your definition of your identity needs to shift a little? Is he telling you to go back?

Spend some time with God, and listen to his whisper.

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