Abigail Denton

Listen by clicking the link or read the transcript below.

Welcome to the Refresh Podcast! Today I want to talk a little bit about rejection and how adoption is what God speaks over me not rejection. I’m going to share a story from my past and then we’re going to work through a few coaching points to help you move forward from any similar rejection in your own story.

Back in the beginning of our ministry full time in a church Isaac was serving in a very conservative church. At the time we were very conservative ourselves, but over time we started realizing some beliefs we had assumed were black and white weren’t anymore. It’s the idea of primary, secondary, and tertiary theology. At the church we’re at now we call it three circle thinking. I’m not going to go into detail right now but basically It’s three concentric circles and illustrates that some theology is super important and then some theology isn’t, there’s room for different opinions. There’s room for me to have a personal conviction and you to have a different personal conviction, even about the same topic, and we can still have unity and worship, serve Jesus together that sort of thing.

Going back to my story, at the time we were at a church that didn’t allow for different convictions. What that looked like is I wanted to get a tattoo. I was researching where to go and the church leadership found out about it and they disagreed with me getting a tattoo. It turned really ugly and there was a lot of gossip and tension and conflict. There were assumptions made about me and spread around. I don’t think I need to go into detail about what that all looked like because as I’m sharing I’m sure you’re projecting your own similar experience into my story.

To wrap up the story, we ended up being asked to leave and there was a lot going on there but basically that whole tattoo issue was kind of the tipping point in our time at that church. You might be wondering why I’m sharing this story when the topic of this podcast is rejection. The reason is because this church rejected me because I wanted to get a tattoo. There wasn’t room for us to have different convictions about non-essential theology. So I was rejected by that church and that led to my husband losing his job and our family losing our community and even moving out of the area.

Now fast forward about 10 years and we’re living in a new area, serving in a new church. My neighbor worked from home so once a week I would have her over for a latte and we’d chat and get to know each other. In the spring when the weather turned I had a tshirt on at one point and she noticed my tattoo. She was so surprised because I’m a christian and I had a tattoo. She has a lot of tattoos and she had been told by someone several years earlier that Christians can’t have tattoos and if you have one you’re going to hell. We had a whole discussion about it and she ended up coming to church with me. She had given up on church because she thought she had chosen tattoos over God.

And this is the part that I tell this whole big long story for. I was rejected by man, by a whole church community. But God redeemed that rejection. God used this whole experience to speak hope over me. I am adopted into God’s family and I have kingdom work to do, kingdom work that God created me for. Calling and purpose that isn’t given or taken based on man. Since then I’ve had other very specific things from my past, rejections, redeemed by God. A specific book that caused a whole friend group to reject me. Words or phrases that have been spoken over me that God has reclaimed and renamed.

This whole idea of adoption being the opposite of rejection has breathed so much hope and light into my soul. I share all of this to give you an example of how to take a rejection and flip it upside down and see adoption there instead. See adoption into God’s family, even when your family has rejected you. See adoption into God’s kingdom, even when your gifts and callings are rejected by man.

Let’s close with little coaching. I want to give you a few coaching prompts to think through and pray over as you process your rejections.

What story of rejection has God brought to mind while listening to this podcast? How have I seen God redeem that rejection and use it for His glory, my good, and the good of others?
Have I been rejected by men because of a personal conviction and is this a time where I need to re-evaluate my conviction, reaffirm my conviction, or I still don’t know. Spend some time praying over that conviction and ask God to give me humility and openness to listen, and to be clear where he’s guiding.
Is there a rejection in my past that I’m still wounded by? How can I make a move towards healing in this area?

As always I am so grateful for you and I hope you know how loved and cherished you are. God is mighty in you and I am always on your team. We do not live as women rejected and abandoned, but as adopted and chosen. Today remember you are abundantly free, you bring delight to the Father, and you have purpose and calling in Christ Jesus.

I’m going to close with Ephesians 1:3-10 in the message:

3-6 How blessed is God! And what a blessing he is! He’s the Father of our Master, Jesus Christ, and takes us to the high places of blessing in him. Long before he laid down earth’s foundations, he had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of his love, to be made whole and holy by his love. Long, long ago he decided to adopt us into his family through Jesus Christ. (What pleasure he took in planning this!) He wanted us to enter into the celebration of his lavish gift-giving by the hand of his beloved Son.

7-10 Because of the sacrifice of the Messiah, his blood poured out on the altar of the Cross, we’re a free people—free of penalties and punishments chalked up by all our misdeeds. And not just barely free, either. Abundantly free! He thought of everything, provided for everything we could possibly need, letting us in on the plans he took such delight in making. He set it all out before us in Christ, a long-range plan in which everything would be brought together and summed up in him, everything in deepest heaven, everything on planet earth.