Last week I was privileged to co-speak with my husband Isaac at our church’s youth event. It was an all campus event with all three campuses coming together to worship and play and eat, all the fun things. It was a wonderful event and there was lots of life change. It was so exciting to be a part of something so God-honoring and worshipful. As my husband I prepared, we felt God moving us towards speaking on identity and calling. We really wanted the teens that were far from God to see that God has so much He wants to give them: a new identity and a new calling on their lives. We also wanted the teens that love Jesus to lean in and step up to what God has called them to right now in their life, not when they get older or have more experience.
One of the reasons I was so excited to participate is because I loved that the teens were going to see a woman on stage. And not just in a minor role, but a prominent role. I want the girls at my church to see women serving in all kind of capacities. Women who know how they are gifted and are using those gifts, filled with purpose and passion. As I was praying over that purpose though I caught myself feeling pressure. Over and over my prayers turned to worry. I was worried I wouldn’t be a good presenter, if I’d fumble over my words or forget mid sentence what I was saying. I worried I wouldn’t pick out the right outfit and I’d either come across too old or too young. I started to feel so much pressure and anxiety.
God spoke the words inspiration not expectation over my soul and I realized where I had veered. Rather than feeling inspired that I could speak into the lives of the teen girls at the event, I felt expectation that I needed to live up to something. Rather than being willing to be used by God however He sees fit, I was putting pressure on myself to perform. This distinction made such a difference to me. Whenever I started to worry about speaking, I reminded myself that there’s no pressure. There’s no expectation God puts on me and there’s no shame. There’s only inspiration.
- Instead of feeling the expectation to memorize a script and perform, I was inspired to prepare well and present a word from God
- Instead of feeling the expectation to wear a perfectly on point outfit, I was inspired to wear something comfortable and “medium cute” (see below for more on that)
- Instead of feeling the expectation to be idolized by a younger generation, I was inspired to show up as a woman who loves God and loves them
All shame and pressure is off because it’s not up to me. Jesus is the hero of this story.
This notecard was in my binder as I prepared and then presented. It was a reminder to be inspired by my audience and steward this assignment from God well, set the expectations I put on myself down. There is no room for shame and pressure in the kingdom work God is calling me too. This is not about me and my expectations, this is about Jesus, He’s the hero of this story.
Medium Cute Outfit
I spend a lot of time thinking about what clothes to wear. Each time I’m speaking or teaching, I think more about what to wear than I’d care to admit 🙂 It used to make me feel vain, but now I’m realizing that what I wear speaks about who I am, and for me that’s important. I was in a coaching session and the coach was talking about how to decide what to wear. She said for her, she likes to wear a “medium cute” outfit. Let me explain what she meant: She doesn’t want her clothes to be the thing everyone takes away from her talk, so she doesn’t wear the cutest thing she owns and she doesn’t drastically underdressed her audience. This really clicked for me and it has been such a fun element to add to my mental prep of a speaking opportunity. I love clothes and I have been figuring out my personal style more and more lately. So far this year, I have about 5 or 6 “speaking outfits” that make me feel medium cute, professional, and comfortable.
This week on Instagram I posted a reel about stepping into something new, trusting God to equip you and make you brave.
“Let’s not be women of fear. Let’s trust that what God is calling us into He’s also equipping us for.”
Abigail Denton 