I recently heard a therapist say that sometimes our bodies remember significant days before our minds catch up to our sub-conscience. She explained that sometimes we’ll be having a hard day emotionally or physically and then realize that it’s an anniversary of something hard, a trauma. Her remarks have had me thinking through my days and realizing that I’m entering into a season of trauma anniversaries, or whatever you choose to call them. 2020 added a few days to the year for us: March 15 and June 3. These are days that are marked in a very significant way.
March 15, 2020, we celebrated our little foster son’s birthday. He was in our home for almost a year and we have grieved his leaving since June when he moved out of our home. As happy as we were to celebrate where he was going, foster care is a lot of opposing emotions at the same time, and that’s a whole discussion for another day. He didn’t leave our house on March 15, but I imagine this date will always be a tricky one for our whole family. This year, we talked about him and our time together and then we celebrated. We celebrated God’s choice to bring him to us. We celebrated that we obeyed the hard task God gave to our family. March 15 will be a day to hold joy and sadness together, celebrating the beauty of that year with our foster son and also the grief that we had a son who isn’t our son anymore.
June 3 is a day that Isaac and I will grieve on, probably for the rest of our lives. I won’t go into detail, but on June 3, 2020, I was betrayed personally and publically. It led to a lot of other things that happened. My dear and close friends turned their backs on me. A day that is marked. June 3 will never just be a day in June again. It’s a day of suffering and betrayal and deep loss. It’s a day that my body and soul will respond to.
A while back I went through a phase of being obsessed with Jewish history, particularly their festivals. Growing up in a Christian home, I knew that Israel had several celebrations throughout the year. Having heard about them from a young age, I have been desensitized to their significance. Honestly, until recently, I never really even thought about how significant Passover is to my Christian faith. Leviticus 23 is a chapter of festivals for the Jews. Each festival signifies something different that God has done, providing crops or bringing them into a new year. Six different celebrations for commemorating the faithfulness of God.
First, Passover commemorates God’s deliverance out of Israel’s slavery in Egypt (Leviticus 23:5). The Festival of Unleavened Bread was also to commemorate God’s deliverance from Egypt. Passover was the first day of the Festival of Unleavened Bread (Leviticus 23:6), which lasted for 7 more days.
Second, they celebrated the first fruits of the barley harvest (Leviticus 23:9-14). They would offer to the Lord a sheaf (about 2 quarts) of barley. This is the Festival of First Fruits.
Third, the Festival of Harvest (Leviticus 23:15-21). This festival was to celebrate the first harvest in the promised land. “50 days after first fruits, two loaves of bread were offered for the people, along with burnt, grain, drink, sin, and peace offerings. In the New Testament, we celebrate this day as Pentecost, found in Acts 2:1. The loaves, made with leaven, typified the formation of the church on the Day of Pentecost. The church, the Body of Christ, is composed of sinners (leaven typifies sin) who are saved by the grace of God.
Fourth, the Festival of Trumpets celebrates the beginning of a new civil year (Leviticus 23:23-25).
Fifth, the Day of Atonement (Leviticus 23:26-32). “The Day of Atonement, described in Leviticus 16, was the most important of all the ordinances given to Israel because on that day atonement was made for all the sins of the entire congregation, as well as for the sanctuary.” The sanctuary was where the Israelites worshiped God.
Sixth was the Festival of Booths (Leviticus 23:33-43). The Israelites commemorated the faithfulness of God during the 40 years they wandered in the wilderness after leaving Egypt. The people actually built booths or huts and lived in them during the festival.
This new season of suffering has reminded me of the Jewish tradition to celebrate marked days. I love that God gave the Jews specific times to remember what He had done for them. I love that the festivals were full of worship and gratitude for what God has done. The Israelites would have traveled to Jerusalem to celebrate the festivals, most of them being several days long. I love that God gave them times throughout the year to remember what He has done and give Him thanks, but also remember the suffering he has brought them through. They celebrated their harvest, but they also celebrated their suffering in the desert.
I love that the Jews have added to the God-given festivals on their own as well. In the book of Esther, we read about a festival called Purim (Esther 9:20-28). The Jews celebrate when God used Esther to save their people. During the Festivals the people would stop their normal life rhythm to remember. They had parties to declare that they served a living and active God. A God who had provided for them in the past and who would provide for them in the future as well.
As I enter into a season of remembering, I need to take this model to heart. God gave the Israelites good things to celebrate and also days to reflect on God’s presence and goodness through suffering. We have marked days during the year that are beautiful and bring so much joy. On May 20 we celebrate our 912 Festival. Isaac and I have been married for 11 years and we have moved 9 times. Laurel Street, Venard Road, Hole-In-One Circle Drive, Old Gladiolus Road, Chandler Ave, Winkler Ave, East Ridge Road, Block Road, and now Prospect Drive. We bought our first home in Florida and lived in that home for 912 days. That was our record. The second home we bought in Western New York, we marked day 912 and celebrated when we crossed it. May 20 we set a new record and ended up living in that home much longer. But we stick with May 20, it’s the day we marked a new thing God was doing. God was allowing us to set down roots, He gave us time. Now, we’re doing it again. God has moved our family to a new place to set down new roots and we are so excited! We’re living in a temporary home but we will be celebrating whenever we set that new record! (It’ll be a while so don’t hold your breath!)
God has shown himself to be working for my good and His glory my whole life, marking day after day. I just forget. I move on. I get over it. We have decided as a family that we are going to celebrate festivals of God’s goodness to us. We are going to set aside days to party! God has been so good to us and I want my children to grow up hearing stories of God’s goodness. I want them to see God’s faithfulness in the history of our family and I want my heart to never forget or take lightly the might work of my God. He has given me some new days to celebrate this year and they are painful, but also full of God’s goodness and faithfulness and mercy and grace.
Abigail Denton 