Helpful Process for Overcoming Anxious Moments

Last week I experienced a trigger from past trauma and it started to turn into a whole thing. If you’ve ever had anxiety, you know what I’m talking about. I feel fine, I am healing and have done so much hard work to overcome anxiety about some things that happened to me this past year. But then one little thing happens and I feel right back where I started. I was getting upset and spiraling down. My heart rate picked up, I was getting hot, my patience with everyone and everything was thin, and my thoughts were getting out of control. For me, thoughts just go deeper and deeper. It happens so quickly! But I’ve been learning so much and I wanted to share, maybe it would be helpful to you if you struggle too. So here’s what I did to help me get ahold of what was happening and also to get back up to the surface and stay there.

First, I acknowledge that it’s happening. I’m having anxiety. I’m heading towards a full-blown panic attack. A wound that I thought was healed is still tender and painful. Calling it what it is makes healing possible. I can’t fix a problem I’m not willing to admit is a problem. Name it, call it out, literally speak audible words if you need to. I needed to say to myself, I’m going down and it’s going to get ugly if I don’t get this under control.

Second, I get a drink. I recently heard at a conference that 4 ounces of water can help calm down an anxiety attack. I know I don’t drink enough water and I know that to deal with my thoughts and anxiety I need my body running at full capacity. Being dehydrated is doing nothing to help, and I’m all about setting myself up to win. So grab a big glass of water and start sipping.

Third, I replace the lies I’m thinking with the truth. There were very specific lies that were going through my mind and I’m pretty good at identifying them now. I have been able, with help and time, to identify what I’m feeling quickly. I know that certain triggers are going to bring up certain thoughts. And I identify them and then replace them. Let me give you a few examples:

I was hurt by close friends. Long-time friends that were very close to my heart betrayed me so personally and publically it has left deep wounds. That hurt makes me feel unsafe with people. That hurt makes me question my worth, my value, my ability to be loved. That hurt makes me question my identity. But friends don’t define my identity. Friends don’t give me my value and my worth. Even the best and most loyal of friends don’t determine my ability to be loved. Jesus does. I am who God says I am. I have been learning so much about what Jesus thinks of me. I made a print that I put in my kitchen and my bathroom so that I can see it throughout the day. I’m replacing the lies with biblical truth.
I experienced a season of not feeling safe. I didn’t feel safe at my church or even out in the community. I was constantly worried that people I didn’t want to see would stop by the house unannounced. I felt like I was getting attacked in every place, and I felt vulnerable in a lot of places. I was living in a state of fear and believing the lie that I’m not safe. I replaced that lie with the truth that nothing can separate me from God’s love. I am safe with Him. I repeated Psalm 91:1-2 Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” I meditated on the security of God’s love in Romans 8:38-39 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
I was worried that I wouldn’t be loved by God because of my failures. I realized that a lot of my faith was built on my performance. I was trying to earn God’s love for me through my service and my lifestyle. I replaced the lie that I can earn or disqualify for God’s love with the truth of Romans 5:8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. God loved me before I did anything to earn his love. I can’t earn it but I also can’t be disqualified from it. God’s love is there even when I fail and sin. Hebrews 10:14 For by one sacrifice he has made perfect forever those who are being made holy. I am perfect because I am a child of God, by the blood of Jesus I am forgiven before God and accepted into his family.

For me, identifying and replacing the lies I believe is a whole long process. It takes me time to think through and be honest with myself with what I’m actually thinking. But replacing those lies and being ready for whenever they pop back up has given me so much freedom. My heart has grown so thankful and free to have joy. This process has been lifegiving to me and I pray will be for you too.

Fourth and finally, I create an environment of worship. I turn on songs of praise, usually youtube videos that I can sing along with, and watch the band worship. I post scripture on my walls. Maybe I’ll listen to a podcast or draw and color or bake a treat for my family. I also avoid things that won’t be helpful: social media, checking email, Walmart (anyone else get anxious just pulling in the parking lot?!) I block contacts in my phone or email and turn my phone on silent or off altogether. I am intentional with the things I do and guard my heart and mind while I’m in a tender moment, vulnerable to my surroundings.

I’d like to close with the disclaimer that I don’t always do this process on my own. I have a few (literally “few”) safe people that I can go to with deep pain. I have two professional counselors that I have called when I can’t get myself through the lies to the truth. I have gotten help when panic attacks were debilitating and not allowing me to function in the day-to-day stuff. These steps have helped me through some hard times, but they haven’t replaced getting real, professional help. I cannot stress enough how much counseling has helped me heal and grow and brought me through a deep valley. Please, reach out if you are suffering and want to take the step of getting some help. I’d love nothing more than to help you get connected with a counselor that will help you in your specific suffering.

Here are some links if you’re interested:

Worship YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/c/TRIBL/featured

Spotify Worship Playlist https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3kQBl5BKwZsmWpvdeuTeNR?si=z4Qr7ph1TuqV-s0w1kQAEg&nd=1

Pumpkin Choco-Chip Muffins https://www.thepetersons.cc/weekendcreativeblog/pumpkin-choco-chip-muffins

Coloring Pages of Psalm 91:1 (https://abigaildenton.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/3c839-pslam91.1.50718.6.jpg and Psalm 91:2 (https://myhallcloset.com/download/psalm-912-coloring-page/)